I have had my ups and downs with God, and am no fan of religion. I am a spiritual person, that's it. If I don't go to heaven because I don't sit at church on Sundays and don't quote the Bible, well... I've made peace with that.
If you are a religious person, this post is not meant to offend you. I respect your point of view, I really do. Which is why I ask you to respect mine.
I received a message today from someone I really care about saying that I am being ungrateful. I was told that happiness is a choice and that I should choose to be happy. That I should have a positive attitude. That I have had a blessed life and that when God tested me, my life fell apart. That last sentence really bothered me.
This message was wrong in so many ways. I am not asking for people that have not gone through this to understand me, but I do ask that they respect me. Am I, in the eyes of the religious, supposed to act as if nothing happened? As if my son wasn't born sleeping 10 days ago? As if my son isn't dead? I cannot help but question... how many days do I get to mourn my child before I become pathetic? Are 10 days supposed to be enough?
I am so upset at this person on your behalf. They obviously have no understanding of what you are going through and have chosen to handle it in a totally inappropriate and upsetting way. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. No good advice, but just know that you shouldn't feel like you have to feel grateful or be positive or think you are blessed right now. Loss changes your outlook and you can feel as you like.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, irate at this person on your behalf. Hang in there.
I don't think you are pathetic and there is no timeframe for mourning and grief. Everyone deals with grief differently, and you will never "get over" losing your son. You learn to live with it and incorporate it into your life, but it never goes away. This person should never have said that. You don't need that in your life right now. You are allowed to feel however it is that you feel in any moment and shouldn't be ashamed or worry about that. So sorry this person said that and upset you even more <3
ReplyDeleteThat is horrendous that someone said those things to you. My guess is that s/he has never been through this either but somehow feels okay to try to shame you and tell you how you should feel. That's really awful and I am so sorry you had to endure that on top of everything else. I have been amazed at how insensitive some people are and have hated that I had to be the one to grow a thick skin to deal with certain comments and certain stupid, self-righteous people. It just felt so unfair. Screw that person. You have every right to feel however you feel.
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