Probably the hardest words I've ever had to digest: "we just need to confirm there's no heartbeat" - as if I wouldn't be able to tell. Three years today and they're still as painful as they were then. Many hours later, I got to hold the most beautiful 21 weeker that ever existed. So light and small, I was afraid my touch would break you - as if I had not already broken you with my choice to end your life. And even though I never even second-guessed myself, I will forever carry a guilty heart.
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