Today has been rough. I woke up at 4:50 am and went for a 5K walk under the stars with my younger brother. Later in the day, I went to work (didn't really do much, but hey, at least I went). At work, everyone stared or came into my office to "look for something", which only made me feel worse. (I work with kids, but it was mostly adults doing this).
After my first loss, I stumbled upon this short I love and have shared a couple of times... I believe it's from a TED talk.
I hate the suggestions/questions/advice... What I hate the most though, is people telling me that I'm young and that "at least I know I can get pregnant". Do you tell a person that has lost a friend that they are young and can make multiple more friends as the world is filled with people? I keep trying to understand why it would make sense for others to say this. I know they don't say it to make me feel bad, but it certainly doesn't make me feel better.
Tonight, I thought about crying myself to sleep. Then I realized my husband needs to wake up early for work, so it would be really selfish of me to lie next to him while I cry my eyes out. Instead, I decided to sit on the computer and read a couple of blogs until I feel tired enough that my brain won't go over everything I've been through this past week for the gazillionth time.
I think pregnancy loss/infertility is such a taboo subject. And, at least in the US, grief is a taboo subject and I think the public at large just doesn't know how to deal with it, in their own lives and in the lives of friends and family. I know that there is nothing that can really truly take the pain away and make you feel better. Just know that I am thinking of you and sending well wishes. You certainly aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I also HATE when people say "Well, at least you can get pregnant..." that is my LEAST favorite "consolation." Some people just don't THINK before speaking!